An [Un]Answered Prayer

They always say that if you pray for courage God doesn't just give you courage - He gives you an opportunity to be courageous...

Throughout the last 2 and ½ years at Marist I often prayed to God for the things I wanted: more friends, more fun, more adventures, more academic success, more late nights that unexpectedly turned into mornings, more chances for athletic improvement, more trips … my list of wants went on and on. However, this semester when I found myself in the middle of Middlesex, England, which is nothing like the hustle and bustle of excitement that is London, God gave me what I needed more than anything: simplicity.

At first I refused to accept this gift – I fought it by trying to throw myself into activities, clubs, sports, and even uncharacteristic social situations. I fought it by spending all my spare time frantically reaching out to people, constantly searching for a new source of entertainment, and by going out and doing things that I really had no desire to do.

But slowly I began to realize that God was not testing me, pushing me - He was giving me a unique gift: a semester to rediscover myself in a chaotic world; a semester to rethink and reconsider; a semester to appreciate all the small things in my life I’d come to take for granted; a semester to realize in-full all the small wonders God has put on earth for me to enjoy.

In the past I always would have told you that I loved music, loved running, loved nature… but they were such small highlights of my life, so I never focused on how beautiful each of these experiences could really be. With time to breathe, I have found new meaning in the lyrics of songs, new peace in the long run on the winding road to nowhere, and more joy in each snow flake, billowing cloud, and twisted tree branch. My eyes have been re-opened to the small wonders that I passed by everyday with no notice.

At times I still may get overwhelmed by how underwhelming it all is, but I know that this is merely God’s way of teaching me to take life slower, take my true interests more seriously, and to save time for Him – a task that sometimes got overlooked in my much too busy life.

And while I would not recommend eliminating everything essential to your life and starting over as I essentially have this semester, I would recommend taking stock of what you have and recognizing that some of the best parts of your life are the ones you fail to notice. Try and appreciate them more; it’ll help you find an indescribable happiness.